quinta-feira, 3 de fevereiro de 2011

City of Blinding lights baby!

  Hello to you all! I'm exhausted today, I know I shouldn't complain of my University's schedule because its really good, but three hours of Modernism and Post Modernism sometimes just drain all your energy. However there's always a few moments in the day where you still feel that you should smile.
  Today, I had one of those moments.

  With Valentine's Day approaching, me being a single girl, that day is always the last thing I want to hear. And even though, I did find somethings to occupy my time, sometimes I can't help it to feel that little pang that still wishes I had someone to share this day with. Don't get me wrong though. This only happens SOMETIMES, and I did find a awesome way of spending my day.

  However, this always gets me back to the same subject: love.

  Today as I was walking with my friend Kate, and we passed by this handsome guy who I've been meeting always in the most random places. I didn't know his name, but because we always seem to meet each other, we just say "Hi" and smile awkwardly. But since I wasn't alone when I met him today, I couldn't help but turn to Kate and say.

  - Oh God, he's so cute!

  Kate looked at me in a funny way.

Kate: Who?
  Me: That guy that just passed by and said hello. Oh God... You know, I've been meeting him since the first day I came here, and I don't even know his name...
 Kate: That guy? I know him!

  And then she proceeded to tell me what she knew. But the first thought that came to my mind was "Oh... I wish I could fall in love with him." And this was when my brilliant mind decided to wander, in my passed love life, and in all the mistakes I've made so far. The thing is, even though I wish I could fall in love with one person, I always end up falling in love with another one that's completely wrong for me. Always. No exception so far.  I end up always wondering what it would be like, to actually fall in love with someone that you choose. But, like some of my friends that doesn't happen, and I gathered a few interesting facts for that matter.

  The first one being: "He's too good for me." . This is a sentence that I've been saying since I first learned what love is, and I listen to my friends constantly saying in random conversations about boys "He's too good for me.". And I couldn't help but wonder, where did this thought even began? I have friends, that are so beautiful, so talented, so wonderful, and they're always saying that they can't fall in love with a certain boy, because he'll never look at them, "He's too good.". And today, I found myself, as I pressed the lift button to my floor, saying the same exactly thing. I hate that I always do that, I'm a victim of my self-esteem. I'm a victim of thinking that they are always too good for me, and somehow I'm never good enough.

 I opened my door and I thought "Fuck it, never going to happen.". But why not?

 So for this Valentine's Day, not only I hope to go out, but I'm also going to change my way of thinking. After today, I'M also good. Because, well, I kinda am, in my own way. And I think all my friends, all those single ladies out there, should think the same way too. Every single one of them ARE better then the boys they have in mind, they truly are.

  Because in the words of Mr Bono: "Oh you look so beautiful tonight!"

2 comentários:

Margarida disse...

jiji, you're in your tipical humor when you're thinking about valentine's day!
See, i've boyfriend and still i fucking hate that stupid day.. like, it's so stupid!
Anyway, go ahead with that cute boy, start to talk with him, you don't have nothing to loose!!

I miss you every single day!
Love you <3

Maga

Lifestyle of the Young and Confused. disse...

Adoro a tua capacidade de me animares sempre quando preciso. Obrigada novamente meu amor por teres tirado tempo do teu dia para leres o meu blog. Como sempre, não me podias ter feito mais feliz. E sim, o dia de São Valentim é horrivel, mas ao menos tu tens alguem com quer partilhar o dia, e é nisso que tens de pensar!
E não sei se vou conseguir alguma coisa com ele, vivemos no mesmo predio, andamos na mesma universidade, mas desde o inicio das aulas eu só o vi 4 vezes. Se tanto. A ver vamos.

Beijinhos! Tenho muitas saudades tuas!
Love you <3

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