Will you John Cusack?

Today this is going to get a bit personal. I wasn't planning on writing this weekend, however, this black cloud has been on my head the whole weekend and I find myself mad at me. Me and one friend of mine, were talking this week, because of a guy. And then she said the magic words:

 Friend: You know? I'm so tired. I'm tired to always be the girl that guys like but they don't like to show it. Like I have to be hidden all the time. I'm so tired.

 And I only said: "I know.". But the truth is, this really affected me for the simple reason that, what's happening to her now, has been the story of my life. And often I find myself feeling guilty for letting myself even be on that position. I always heard that love is bigger than everything else, you see it on TV often on films, you listen it often on songs, but I always have to question: What exactly is love?

 I've been in this love roller-coaster a few years now, and somehow, I always find myself stuck on the same story, the difference is that the prince is not the same. Maybe its me, I'm the one who always picks that guy that is too afraid to admit his feelings for me to his friends, to my friends, and so we have to keep it a secret. At first I honestly had nothing to say, until things became unbearable. I swore to myself that I wouldn't do the same ever again, but then the next one comes and the story repeats, and repeats. Like my friend I became tired. That's why I haven't fall in love for a while now, and that's why I've been just having fun.

 I was only in love once. And when I saw how things were ending up. I did this:

I begged. I was weak. I thought I had to do everything I could, to make him love me. But then one day, and this was one of the turning points in my life, I saw one interview with the actress in this scene. Ellen Pompeo was talking to Oprah, and Oprah told her that this was one of her favourite scenes. This used to be one of my favourite scenes too, so I was anxious to see what Ellen would say. And she said, she was actually against this scene, because no woman should beg for her man to love her, if he did, he should just show it. I had the same reaction as Oprah, realization. She was right. Why do we submit ourselves to do these things for men?


 And not only that, but it's not only me and my friend on that situation, but I know other girls who are going through the same thing. And my question is: Is this it?
 Is this how love is always going to be for me?
 Won't I ever get the right to have a guy, no not a guy, a man, who actually isn't scared of holding my hand in the street? And is actually capable of calling me girlfriend?

 Either way, I know John Cusack won't ever be at my window with a bombox even though I still dream about it.

Either way, I'll just wait and see.

"Big things come for those who wait." - Is this true?